Dilemma
by Treelow955
Summary: Pluto does something unmentionable on the lawn. Rated T for a minor swear word.


**A/N:- Hi folks! This came to me after watching an episode where Finny was riding around the estate on Pluto. My thought was that Pluto has to be at least 10 feet tall and so whatever comes out I wouldn't want to be the one who has to deal with it and he can't be a man or toilet trained all the time so...  
>I want to point out that any OOCness is intentional. Also I make a guest appearance, yay!<strong>

**Disclaimer:- I own nothing but the weird, twisted thought that made this. If I did Pluto would be a hamster!**

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><p>Dilemma<p>

Ciel was sat in his study being served his afternoon tea by Sebastian. It was a nice day so the window was open to let in the pleasant breeze outside.

"Today's dessert is treacle tart with cream." Announced Sebastian, serving a slice to his master. "If that will be all, Young Master, I will take my leave as I have other jobs to be pressing on with."

"That's fine." Replied Ciel with disinterest. Sebastian bowed and turned about to leave when suddenly shouting could be heard from outside followed by a foul smell permeating the air.

"Would you like me to go investigate?" Sebastian asked, sighing inwardly and cursing the day he ever brought the servants to the mansion.

"Yes, but first close the window, the smell is wretched." Ciel answered, wrinkling his nose slightly.

"Yes, My Lord." Said Sebastian, executing a deep bow and crossing the room to the window.

**Meanwhile outside…**

Meirin, Finny and Bard were gathered on the lawn after witnessing what Pluto, the estate's giant hellhound, had just done.

"Oh no, what are we going to do? How are we going to get rid of that?" Cried Meirin.

"What are we going to tell the Young Master?" Asked Finny panicking.

"Well that's easy." Said Bard, the supposed voice of reason in their group. "We say to him 'Here, Young Master, you know that naked bloke you agreed to look after? Well, he's just left you a massive gift on your lawn.'"

"Yeah, but who's going to tell him?" questioned Meirin.

"Well, let's play rock, paper, scissors to decide." Suggested Bard.

**Back in the study…**

Just as Sebastian finished latching the window, Finny came rushing through the door of the study, not bothering to knock.

"Would you like to go back outside the door and enter properly?" Ciel said sharply, not caring about his rather flustered gardener.

"Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir." Finny replied going back out the way he came. Finny knocked hurriedly on the door and this time Sebastian opened it for him, announced his presence and stepped back to allow him entry.

"Now, Finny, what is the matter?" Ciel asked patiently.

"Young Master, it's terrible. Pluto has done something unmentionable on the lawn."

"Well, that's easy enough to deal with. Get some newspaper and pick it up." Stated Ciel calmly.

"Um… Young master, have you seen the size of Pluto? It's not that simple." Finny argued.

"With respect, Finny, I doubt it's that bad." Sebastian insisted, smirking.

"If you think so, go outside and take a look for yourself." Finny maintained.

"If you're having such a problem with picking up dog mess, Finny, then why don't you go pick it up, Sebastian?" Proposed Ciel with an evil smile.

"I think I will. After all what kind of butler would I be if I couldn't do that much?" Sebastian declared, taking up his master's challenge. "Lead on, Finny."

**Outside again…**

"Here we are, Sebastian." Finny announced, trying to hide his smile at the look on the cocky butler's face.

"Unholy father of Satan!" Swore Sebastian, his eyes as wide as dinner plates. "That is not natural!" he declared.

"Don't tell me your backing out of your wager, Sebastian." Exclaimed Ciel from behind him.

"Why are you out here, My Lord?" Sebastian asked warily.

"Finny made such a commotion over the size of the leavings, I thought I would come and investigate the phenomena myself." Replied Ciel, his already present smirk widening. "I have to say, he wasn't joking. It's quite an impressive pile of crap."

"I'm so glad I managed to teach you not to have a potty mouth." Sebastian deadpanned.

"Well, clear it up Sebastian." Ciel insisted, removing his eye patch and verbalizing the words Sebastian was dreading. "That's an order!"

"Yes, My Lord." Whimpered Sebastian.

"Come, Finny. We can leave Sebastian to it and go have a cup of tea." Ciel stated, moving away from the butler and heading back to the mansion. Finny shrugged and followed. If the Young Master was confident then so was he.

_Well, I know of a way to get rid of this as long as the author agrees._ Thought Sebastian. Then the author of this story appeared in a blinding flash of light.

_**(May I ask what your idea is?)**_

_Whisper, whisper, whisper._

_**(Well, alright. But just this once.) **_The author then used their awesome pen powers to grant Sebastian's request.

Sebastian drove up to the massive pile of mess on his brand new, author granted digger and started to rid the lawn of the cursed dog doo, laughing all the while.

_Ha, ha. Ciel can keep his smirking to himself. He doesn't know I have the author on my side._

_**(Did you only ask to get back at Ciel?)**_

_Yes._

_**(I see.)**_ The author decided to revoke permission of using a digger and said digger suddenly disappeared, making Sebastian land straight in the doings. The author then made the poop on the lawn disappear with their awesome pen powers again.

Ciel came back out to see what was taking so long and almost wet himself laughing at the state of his butler, who was covered from head to toe in dog leavings.

"What happened to you?" Ciel gasped out between laughs.

"I had a fight with the author." Stated Sebastian simply, before walking as elegantly as he could to his room to bathe and change himself.

**End**

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><p><strong>AN:- There you have it. Sorry if I picked on Sebastian. I love him as a character, but he had it coming. Also I wish to say that it took forever to think of different ways of saying poo without swearing too much. Anyway, please, please, please, read and REVIEW!**


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